Rage

“But what’s wrong with professionals sharing ideas and opinions and stuff”

This. This is what’s wrong with it, you goddamn morons:

Look, a review is supposed to be a critical, objective blurb written about a product or service in order to better inform the consumer as to whether or not that product or service warrants a purchase. That’s all a review is, and all it should be. It shouldn’t have political bias, and it shouldn’t contain conflicts of interest. Shouldn’t. Contain. Conflicts. Of Interest.

Gone Home is an adventure/story driven “game” in the same vein as Dear Esther. I put game in quotes as it is really only an interactive book, which uses a first person game world as it’s vehicle. It has very few traditional gameplay elements other than wandering around, viewing objects and places and learning about the emergent story. It isn’t awful, but it isn’t a game and even as a piece of interactive media it isn’t anything to write home about. If I had to stick a grading number on there to share my opinion on the product (which I hate doing but for the sake or argument I will) I’d give it a 5/10. That’s my opinion and I’ll stick to it. I don’t stand to make a profit for stating my opinion, I have nothing invested in the product of the developer, it’s a relatively unbiased opinion from a dude who plays a lot of games.

Enter Polygon staff. You not only display a massive conflict of interest when looking at the product, and then try to downplay it in the comments, but you give a mediocre product that really isn’t a video game, a perfect fucking ten score. Think about that for a moment. It’s bad enough that they are allowing that staff member to do the review, but they then go on to tell you that it’s a PERFECT game.

You guys are a fucking joke.

f.

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Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP

over_the_stars

My brain won’t be quiet.

It started Monday morning and hasn’t stopped since. Constant questioning, constant doubt, constant confusion. Taking possible future paths or ideas and querying them to the nth degree. Extrapolating deluded and diseased fantasies based on nothing but my own self doubt and chagrin. I am worried that I am starting to go insane.

Jobmoneywifehappysadwhat?where?why?when?maybethismaybethatmaybesomethingelseentirely.

I can’t even make out what most of it is saying because it looks like that up there ^^. Just a stream of conciousness without punctuation or regard for the rules of grammar. But the overall theme is very apparent: You suck and you know it.

I cannot stop it, the pills are not stopping it, I feel anxious again.

I do not know what to do.

I want to take a shotgun and blow it all out, not because I want to die – I definitely do not – but just to shut the goddamn thing up and get some peace.

Fuck this shit.

Everything is always being consumed

overcrowded

This rant ties in with my opinion that there are too many people on the planet and folk need to stop breeding so much. Just one of my excuses for not wanting offspring.

It seems that everywhere I look, more often than not if there is something that can be consumed by humans, then it is being consumed. I have called this Foo’s First Law.

For example, you walk past an ATM machine and there’s a queue of people waiting to use it no matter what time of day it is. You visit the local bakery to get some much-needed pastry, outside of lunch hours no less, large queue of people waiting to get their food. You try and get a doctors appointment (made even more difficult by this stupid work 9-5 every weekday paradigm we created for ourselves) and get told you have to wait three weeks. You get on a train that is eight carriages long (that’s pretty long) and your face is pressed up against the glass and some dude is groping your ass because it’s that packed with people.

Everything is always being used, space is always taken up, and I have noticed it getting worse over the course of the past decade. There are too many of us and we are going to destroy ourselves unless we take action. China might have a questionable history when it comes to human rights but they had one good idea (albeit a very, VERY poorly handled one) with the whole one child rule. They knew overcrowding was going to be a problem and they took action.

Now I’m not condoning the horrors that have taken place in China trying to enforce that rule, nor am I saying that Western society is more ‘civilised’ because it isn’t. But we damn well need to come up with some kind of plan before we completely obliterate this planet not through nuclear war, but simply by virtue of us mining, digging and scraping it in to non-existence. Leaving it as a husk for some wandering alien to find in a couple million years from now.

puzzledalien
“What happened here?” “I don’t know John but keep your eye on the road”

The human race will be the cause of the next global extinction event. Maybe the ants or the birds will take over after we are gone. Or perhaps they will evolve to cross breed in to some kind of super ant-bird hybrid creature. Either way, we won’t be around to see it. Because we will all be dead.

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Freakouts, frozen food and The Final Cut

ALLURBASE

I’ve been quietly freaking out since I got out of bed around 2pm. My traitorous brain is on full frontal assault today, no stealth tactics.

I think I’m anxious about my first meeting tomorrow with the psychologist but I’m not sure. I tried some guitar practice, got angry at myself for still not being able to play a C chord and started getting wound up. So I went downstairs to make a sandwich, felt a bit shaky so I figured if I get some food inside me I’ll have more energy and get some decent practice in. I knew I had some nice cheese and some of those quorn fake meat smoked ham style slices (which are lush) in the fridge.

Wait did I say fridge? No, I meant freezer, because my dumb ass put them in the freezer last night when I brought them back from the supermarket. They are not supposed to be frozen, it kinda, ruins them completely. When I discovered this I got an immensely loud cry in my head of “You fucking idiot, look what you’ve gone and done” and that was me off down the rabbit hole. The self deprecating voice, which I have named McCunt, is pretty loud today.

I spent about thirty minutes in the kitchen pacing back and forth, deriding myself for such a stupid act, trying to retrace the steps I took to make such a dumbass mistake. Then realised that the tea bag I had left brewing in the mug had been there for the entire time I was pacing around, the tea was ruined too. That was another thing for the voice to pick up on, and oh boy did he ever: “Not only did you ruin your sandwich filling material but you wasted all that boiled water and a poor defenceless tea bag! Haha, you dick”.

Cue another twenty minutes or so of frantic fretting.

Which brings us to now. I’ve calmed down a bit, thanks to music. Music is usually the only thing other than illegal drugs that can settle me and allow me to try and reorganise my thoughts into a less negative framework. That’s why I want to learn how to play the guitar, I’m sure it would work wonders for my self esteem and give me something to do other than getting stoned when I need to chill out. It just sucks that over thirty something years I’ve trained my hands to be in this position:

handsCan’t play a C chord but can devastate on Mario Kart

…which makes fretting quite difficult as I cannot stretch my fingers enough. Oh well, practice makes perfect I guess, it’s just finding the will to practice that’s the problem, plus not getting angry at myself for not being Jimmy Hendrix after ten minutes practice.

Here’s the album that calmed me down, The Final Cut by Pink Floyd (although essentially a Waters solo album lyrically, it’s still a great anti-war concept album). Time to go play some videogames.

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