I always come out of the psychologists with a wide eyed look. Talking about the human condition, and more specifically my condition, always makes me stare at people afterwards. I incessantly wonder what they are thinking or where they are going. Are they happy, sad or worried? Are they contemplating deep thoughts or wasting their time in celebrity worship? What is their deal?
I do this because, I think, that after a therapy session I’m more interested in humans. More interested in what they have to say or think, and more interested in where they think they are heading in life.
We spoke a lot about other people today. I explained that I feel like the vast majority of people are ignorant and selfish. For example, this stupid cunt sat next to me on the train has had the same three conversations with three different people in her contact list at roughly the volume of a zeppelin crashing into another zeppelin and both zeppelins are made of PURE FUCKING NOISE. She does not give a shit about the other people around her. She doesn’t care how loud or rude she’s being. She doesn’t even give it a second thought. She is an ignorant person.
But who’s the bad guy here? Is it her for being the way she is or is it me for not accepting that sometimes, people are ignorant and it’s not really that big a deal?
I have already come to the conclusion that this human must be a bad person. I have interpolated a whole personality for this individual based on one (actually three) transgressions. That’s probably a bad thing to do.
But what if I’m right? What if the way this person is acting now is indicative of how they act all the time? Then they should be labeled, categorised and filed away under ‘cunt’ in my mental filing cabinet.
I see things way too black and white. I’m trying to change this. That’s why I stare at people more than I used to. I’m trying to figure you out and in the process figure myself out.
She’s on the fourth conversation now. I am looming forward to getting off this train -_-